Where to begin. And where does it end?

I really don't know anymore I mean I have good days and I have bad like everyone else. But what the shit man? Life is going good just to get thrown a curve ball yet again. So here it is I was in a car accident yesterday. It was my fault I wasn't paying attention. I have over spent myself. As of yesterday morning I had worked 5 days all being 10 hour shifts and the Friday shift was a over night shift. But since I'm moving next weekend I needed to get shit done. I needed a frame for my futon. I needed to get my clothes sorted. Yup I tried to do it all just like every other day in my life. So yes I overspent myself. And lets get this right out there to be known anybody who decides to look down on me can go fuck themselves. Why? Cause you have no idea how much I look down on myself. I come to wonder why or how could the most beautiful 10 year old ever come to look up at her dad.

You know what that might be the problem right there she shouldn't. Every child should be able to look at their parents and say damn right that's who brought me into this world. haha In a ideal world of course. I know she knows I'm doing better but should any parent make their child worry them because of their actions. I don't need to answer this its a given...

In a lot of ways my life is improving. Got a good job which I work my ass of for. Moving to a new place Oct. 2nd finally a place that Alliyah could call home too. About fucking time. I have the best crew of friends which are also my biggest support group. But that brings on another subject is that really what friends are for? I myself try to make my mark on everyone that crosses my path in this life time. Even if its making just one person smile or laugh because everyone needs that in their life. Wow today is all about textual diareah... Oh well fuck it. Better here than in my head!

But not one else is the problem. I am!
I am my own worst enemy.
I'm not happy, sure I make others laugh but I don't know what happiness is.
Correction my daughter is what makes me happy. Everything about her growing up. Except of course the soon to happen issue called boys. Oh well I have helped her have a good head on her shoulders. If fact I think she's gonna be quite the heart breaker.

Today I'm gonna sit at work and do some serious thinking of what I want out of life.
For one I need to learn to love myself. I think its time for me to step back from the scene and maybe not return. But who am I kidding its all I really know. I'm sincerely excited to be moving hopefully it means new beginnings. I can't wait until I've got all my stuff moved in. And I can finally relax knowing it is well earned. And last how to become a person my daughter can be proud of.

Alrighty then I think I'm done.
Grifford.

Women Sexual Rating Scale.

This is a quick draft but I will edit and submit later when I remember what 2 and 3 are.

1) Dead Fuck/Beached whale: Seriously move do something WTF. The kinda a fish you throw back into the water and hope you find not bigger but better!

2) I forget:(

3) Ditto.

4) Fucks like a race horse: Oh boy your in for a ride.. Far from the bottom of the scale. I like to think of em as keepers.

5) Fucks like a porn star: Rare find indeed. Like I mean naughty, dirty, willing to do anything once. I myself have only found a few who are at this rank. I still have em on my on my friend list for that very reason:P

Day Four:

So Day four is here. Had a good day at work. Went to my parents and picked up my bike. Plan on going for a bike ride saturday. I thought tonight would be a challenge to stay sober because Its radio show night at my place. This would be the very first time I ever stayed sober for it. No problem hell I'm even going out to a event tonight. I'm gonna make sure to ask the bartender for a virgin. I can't wait to see his reaction. Hopefully that will give me something more interesting to write about tomorrow. First lame journal post Probably many more like this before this month is over.

Day Three.

Day 3: Boring day really had plans to pick up my bike from my parents today. But was way too tired. Just woke up and need to eat without food in the house. So will have to journey out in the rain with the possibility of maybe melting. Realized I chose a month with a weekend actually called 24 in it. The rest of my post...s will be boring until the weekend. During the week isn't the challenge. Its the weekend that will be hard. My roomate is playing his first residency at a place I was taken to in a wheelbarrow and where I always drink. That should be extremely challenging but well worth to prove more so the fact I don't need Booze to enjoy myself.

Day Two.

Day two almost complete. Temptation will be there every step of the way this month. It's to overcome such challenges. An LCBO and WineRack caught my eye today and I f<€£ing hate wine. Best day of work yet. Completed the day and only one French call. Then off to inspect new threads to upgrade my style but still maintain my individuality. On the list to buy shortly: white blazer that everyone wants to see me in and kicks I've always wanted Air Jordans. I won't just sport them with pride, I shall make them look good! Damn this feels good I've lived my life trying to prove myself to everyone around me. This day, this time I'm doing this for the one and only Griff.

Day One.

Day one comes to an end. Sticking to my course of action. Went out to wish someone an amazing summer across the country. Did my festivities include beer? Nope Shirley Temples and honey hot wings. What will day two bring? Work then shopping for new gear. No need to stab my brain with a q-tip. I know this can be accomplished!!!