I lash out in anguish. It's all I can do to make it stop. the pain, the truth, the lies everything in between and then some. my identity is anything concrete and real. it honestly depends on the day, the state, the mentality. I can't continue with me.
I've hurt a world full of people. some that all they have ever tried to do is help. when you hurt the ways I do clarity is impossible to see. my mind shows me that they don't want to see me helped. I mean come on Michael.
no one has ever hurt you the ways you have. why can't I admit that?
my dignity, ego, what is left of my mind, pride, the way I how I hold my head low but yet could never show to anyone ever.
Am I one to consider death as the answer to way out of here?
no. but have I ever?
yes and I couldnt ever go through with it. I don't think I would be still here with out her being brought into world. she deserves better. her mom is now with someone else in another place. I wouldn't expect he ever replace me but hopefully he can fill that role for me. she damn well deserves that. I will be the first to admit it.
I will never finish this..
only because it never ends.
it's better to not to.
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